OK guys, I’m caught up. I’m finally caught up on Web3, and Urbit, and the Assembly in Austin, and the Wet Brain Panel, and Ethereum scalability, and the distinction between optimistic and zero-knowledge ETH rollups, and Arbitrum (which idc about), and I read the Wikipedia page for Merkle tables, and I learned what shard chains are, and I kind of gave up on figuring out templeDAO unless someone can really make it exciting for me.

I’m caught up on the developments in the mythos of Milady Sonora wherein SWAT teams opened fire on her packed rave in New York City, and how the feds were tipped off by a rival DAO whose board of directors feared the fresh, youthful iconoclasm and enlightened prescience that will wash clean the poisoned digital landscape, and how there was coronavirus in the handsoap and speed in Himi’s coke that night.

I’m caught up on Chinese municipal tier system, and I finally looked at a map of New York and apparently Tribeca stands for Triangle below Canal, like as in Canal Street and oh yeah I found out what the Drunken Canal is, and I read a NYT article about it and the author put Dimes Square in quotation marks which I thought uhh Xennial moment, and apparently Soho stands for South of Hou—idc, and I’m caught up on the OHM/TIME drama and how jawz deactivated but maybe he’s back now, idk (idc), and now I know who Dean Kissick is, and who Honor Levy is and apparently she’s half-jewish which I learned because I listened to an episode of Wet Brain (Moldbug episode, on Spotify) and now I know who Walter Pearce, Tyler Hobbs, Waheed Zai (idc), and Zach Lieberman are.

I’m caught up on the MiladyMaker Minecraft Server and its 100,000-page whitepaper shitpost, and I had dinner with the firm partners, and I avoided getting ejected from the steakhouse for being unvaxxed and I didn’t even have to make a scene, and I got a new suit at the TM Lewin liquidation sale because people weren’t buying suits in quarantine (only shirts), and in the groupchat the boys are staking ICE and burning FRAX, and something about MIM and AVAX idk, and I got the Andrew Tate follow to complete the goated follower stack (Thomas777, Land, Solbrah, Landshark, Tate). I’m caught up on pay-to-earn Axie slaves in the Phillipines, and the revival movement for marquee tags in standards-compliant HTML, And I’m NOT caught up on the Rittenhouse trial (idc).

Now, to look toward tomorrow— toward the Remilia Island Virtual Compound, and to a simultaneous rebirth and gamification of human slavery through the burgeoning indentured South-East-Asian cookie-clicker serf economy backdoor, and to a teary-eyed toast at the private gallery show anticipating the rejuvenation of slavery as such in the eyes of the public consciousness, and to eyeball-analysing AR vaccine-taker detection goggles trained on a GAN, and to an ocean of starry-eyed Vtuber starlet angels making their first million, and to the one young Decentralised-Autonomous-Corporation-as-performance-art who risked it all and won the hearts and minds of seven billion Americans across the globe.


James Arthur Liao